Last night was kind of sad for me and maybe it's just a lesson that I need to be more honest with others and give them the benefit of the doubt. I went to an event last night with two friends where I managed to drink water the whole time without calling too much attention to myself. These friends have dealt with me not drinking then drinking and then not drinking again. This time, the alcohol free experiment is different. I feel it in my bones, but I honestly am kind of hesitant to announce from the rooftops that I'm doing this again, because always I come back a week later and end up drinking. So I want to get more days under my belt.
One of my friends asked if I wanted anything and I said "no thanks." To which she replied, "you're not on the wagon again are you?" I just said, "Oh I'm not drinking right now."
They ended up going to a bar after the event and asked me to come along and I said no, saying that I was going home to get ready for Teacher Appreciation Day and wanted to make cupcakes.
None of that was really a lie - but it wasn't the whole truth either. I left feeling sad. I definitely didn't want to go to the bar, but I figured that maybe some of my relationships will change because of this. I don't want to be left out but I also don't want to drink. I guess I can't have one foot in both worlds but maybe I could try to blend them better by going to exercise classes or suggesting lunch or coffee.
I don't know where the saying came from but I love it. "You can have it all. Just not all at once." This definitely applies to so many things in my life - as I try to juggle motherhood, being a small business owner, being a wife, friend, daughter, etc. I just have to concentrate on priorities right now - and that's seeing what's at the end of this 100 day challenge.