Oh blerg. I am a quitter!

Ugh! I quit everything I try (except for the big things, like my family, my career in public relations, exercise habit - so there's that!)...so I am here to tell myself that I am going to quit alcohol. I made it through a glorious 19 day streak and then...bam! Wednesday and Thursday I drank wine. Why? I was stressed, wasn't feeling great, the kids were acting crazy. Just typical life stuff. I thought being on a good sober streak (19 days is a good streak for me) would have me bouncing out of bed, in a great mood and just overall a perfectly glowing creature. But guess what? My kids still annoy me sometimes, I get angry sometimes, I get sad sometimes. And I'm just going to have to learn to work through all that without the wine. Wednesday night wasn't bad. I just had two very small glasses. If I could just drink like that, it would be fine.

But then last night I had dinner with a friend - who would have been totally fine without me drinking - she has already said, "I enjoy your company with or without drinking" but I had two big glasses of wine and not enough dinner and then I came home and finished the rest of the bottle I had opened Wednesday.

I got in a fight with my husband - haven't had a fight with him in three weeks! I slept like crap and went to bed with my makeup on. Ugh. Just ridiculous and unacceptable. AND my anxiety is sky high today - because of course it is.

I'm just going to start over. This is my Day 1. I am a quitter. I will quit this.

I have a few tests coming up this weekend. Tonight I have a BBQ that I'm going to with the family. But I'm having lunch with the hostess this afternoon so I'm just going to give her a heads up so I can prevent any last-minute decision making. And I have a Kentucky Derby party to go to tomorrow. But I will bring some Pellegrino and throw that shit in a red solo cup and will cheer on those horses.

Progress. Not perfection.