I told myself "I'm going to drink tonight" last night

I tend to always share the successes I have around this alcohol free journey I'm on.

  • I feel great!

  • Look at my skin!

  • I'm so much better sober!

I feel like this is a disservice to you - and that I'm presenting a picture that appears as if I have life all figured out.

So yesterday I had a long day. I will spare the details but wanted to share with you what I did when a strong urge came in to my mind about drowning out my stress with wine - and what I did about those feelings.

I quit smoking more than a decade ago but - every once in a blue moon - my brain will say, "just buy a pack of cigarettes and smoke one."

And of course I say back to my brain, "that is an idiotic idea. Why would you do that to your body and risk the chance of getting addicted to it all over again?"

I'm assuming this is the same process with alcohol. My brain has been conditioned to believe that alcohol is the one and only way to make it through a stressful day - even after I have plenty of examples of proving my brain otherwise.

This is what a wrote a friend and wanted to share:


I drove two hours back and it took me forever because there was so much traffic.

  • I told myself, I am going to drink tonight.

  • I am going to have wine.

  • I deserve it.

  • No one else gives a shit if I drink or don’t drink.

  • Everyone else in the world drinks except me.

  • What am I trying to prove anyway?

But then I reminded myself:

  • I am NOT my thoughts.

  • I can FEEL these things and don’t have to ACT on them.

  • It won’t be worth it.

  • The IDEA is better than actually DOING IT.

I came home and my husband had made a nice dinner and I asked him to get Marble Slab ice cream (vanilla with chocolate chip sprinkles) and it was all good.

I told myself alcohol won’t do anything but make me tired and feel and look like crap tomorrow. And then I put the kids to bed and was able to put my sober head on a pillow and get some sleep. Proud to work through these feelings and let them pass. 💛

Also, I came across a great podcast episode from Rachel Hart Coaching that tackles the subject of commitment versus wanting and wanted to share.

It is my true desire that this will reach someone who needs it this weekend. xo Kim

P.S. I also shared this in the private member group on Facebook. Want to join the conversation over there? Click here.