sober journey

Day 5 - Progress Over Perfection

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I received the following note about "slip ups" and wanted to address in today's Sober October email to you!

How do you feel about relapses? I am doing Sober October but I had a slip and drank yesterday. I still plan on doing the rest of the month sober but I wanted to know your thoughts.

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I think, when it comes to alcohol, we should all give ourselves a little grace. We are practicing a new habit, which doesn't happen overnight! It takes a while to rewire a brain that is used to drinking alcohol at every event, every occasion.

That's not to say that we shouldn't commit wholeheartedly - but it took me SEVERAL, dozens even, attempts to get to a place where it's easy for me to say "no" to alcohol.

For me, I had to work through a lot of situations - birthday parties, special events, boring Thursday nights, tough days - and everything in between. So when I reached for wine during one (or all) of the above, I learned something about why I was drinking in the first place.

So, if you're truly trying to achieve a sober lifestyle, definitely commit to not drinking - but don't give up if you have a slip up.

Mistakes happen. You're human. And it's a process.

"In truth, our lives benefit from deep, lasting growth when we make changes slowly." - Jim Daly

Keep going. Don't look back and make small steps towards achieving your goal. If you truly want it, you will find a way and the power to turn down alcohol, otherwise, you'll always find an excuse!

Wishing you all a happy Friday and a fun, fantastic (alcohol free) weekend! xoxo Kim

  1. FOLLOW THE NEXT STEPS TO COMPLETE DAY 5

  1. Say your Daily Mantra "I am making progress" whenever you have a chance.

  2. Head over to the Private Facebook Group and join us to share that you completed Day 5

  3. Send any questions you may have to me atkim@100dayssober.com. I want us all to have a successful Sober October so let me know how I can help.

  4. Read this article that features my Sober Journey and 100 Days of Sober in the Greenville News!

My beauty struggle that's a side effect of anxiety

What does anxiety look like to you?
  • A frenetic person running around with their head cut off?
  • Someone who can't get out of bed or hold down a job?
  • Or is it someone who is so overwhelmed with internal conflict that they never realize their full potential in a career or pursuit?

I'm here to share that I have had major anxiety my whole life but you may never know just by looking at me on paper.

  • I've owned a successful PR firm for nearly 10 years.
  • I've run two marathons and several half marathons.
  • I have been married for 11 years, have two healthy children and a 401K.

I definitely think I turned to wine to quell my anxiety - before big events, social activities or during stressful times where I felt overwhelmed.

As much as I leaned on alcohol to soothe my anxiety, I've learned that it has gotten almost better (nearly diminished!) since I started my 100 Days of Sober journey.

But here is one side that is so embarrassing! It's the way my anxiety has manifested physically over the years.

I twirl my hair. I've done it so much that I have a callous on my pointer finger on my left hand. I've twirled so much, a section of my hair has gotten shorter and shorter and, ultimately, has left a temporary bald spot on my left temple. At times it grows back, but then I end up twirling it off again!

I know it appears that I am flippant about things if I'm sitting there talking to someone and catch myself twirling my hair.

And, even though I have a really nice and understanding hair stylist, but it's still embarrassing when I go in to get my hair cut and colored. Good times!

I'm sharing this because I'm committing to fixing this. I'm actively trying to replace this instinctual habit with another physical habit - like tapping my fingers or another activity to keep my hands busy.

I also am going to journal and meditate more because I think that will help release any lingering effects of anxiety I still have. Being mindful is the best medicine to approach a lot of challenges.

Has anyone else experienced this? How does your anxiety manifest and what are you doing to control it? Let me know if you have any tips! Kim

Alcohol Free Beach Vacation - part 1

O.K. So we drove to the beach yesterday for a long weekend. It was a pretty annoying day. We had a four hour drive and it started to rain on our way down there. When we got there, we went to an alligator adventure, which was mildly entertaining but everyone was just kind of tired and in a craptastic mood.

My husband - who is a wee bit high maintenance and not so much self aware of his downfalls at times (bless him) had his heart set on some restaurant that was literally 25 minutes away. I feel like a 25 minute drive at the beach to eat seafood is a bit of a ridiculous need, no? We are not fine dining it with two four year olds, but alas this is what we pursued as part of our great beach adventure.

This wouldn't have been a problem if we had eaten recently, if it hadn't been 7 o'clock at night, if it wasn't busy as crap in the middle of summer vacation to a highly flocked to beach town and had two small kids in tow.

My husband asked the bartender if we could sit at the outside tiki bar. She said yes, to my horror. That's kind of my personal pet peeve. I don't think kids should be at the bar. And I used to be a bartender in college and it used to annoy me way back then. I hated having two kids and a sober lady taking up seats at the bar when other people are literally waiting to sit down to have a drink. Plus, it's tacky. We had an absolute dinosaur of a local beach bum sitting next to us chain smoking like literally blowing smoke in our faces. It's cool. It's his territory and we're at the bar. I get it.

But my husband insisted and he can be annoyingly assertive so we just rolled with it...for an hour and a half we waited to get fried food (I could laugh out loud at this if it wasn't so annoying). I also spilled my soda water and the bartender was so busy I never got another one so, not only did I not drink alcohol, I didn't drink anything else either!

But OF COURSE it takes an hour and a half to get a hot dog and hush puppies. And of course my kids start melting down. I was about to meltdown. It was just an all around horrible idea. But that's life. And I endured it and we all survived and went back to the hotel. And I'm happy to report I remained alcohol free.

End of story. Success overall

P.S.

The bartender accidentally made a bloody Mary with house vodka, instead of Tito's so she asked if I wanted a free bloody Mary. I easily said "no thank you" - but a year ago I would have greedily sucked it down. Another man's trash is another man's treasure!

 

Day 9 - sober and stronger

IMG_7051 So I've been here before. I've reached week two without alcohol and have seen the self-confidence slowly coming back. My sleep and skin improving. I've had this "high on life" kind of feeling before on this sober journey and somehow, some way always sneak in a glass of wine. It usually happens on Day 14 or Day 15.

But I'm determined to keep going and keep this journey afloat. I'm just more prepared and aware this time around.

Yesterday, because I was wine free and not chasing my next drink, I went out with the boys to look for rabbits before bedtime (to be honest, it was WAY after their bedtime but it's summer so....).

I'm at the lake this week with my parents and the boys. We didn't see any rabbits but I noticed the sunset and the boys got SO excited about the "orange sky" they wanted to run back in and tell my parents.

Imagine the joy and purity of being so excited about a sunset that you want to share it with other people you love. So I ran back in to get my parents and then grabbed my phone.

It was awesome. I wonder if I would have noticed the sky or would have suggested looking for rabbits before bedtime if I was half a bottle into the wine. Would I have been rushing them to bed? Or been irritated that I couldn't pour another glass?

I don't know. But I'm so glad we witnessed this sunset. A

P.S. (what do you think that bright thing of light is in the top left? Someone said they thought it was a planet or space station. Is that possible?)