sober mom

About last night....New Year ✨2019✨- reader submitted essay

Reader Submitted Essay.jpg

The following was submitted by a reader - who has turned into a friend. While she isn’t interested in sharing her thoughts publicly on a blog or social channel (not yet, at least!), she has found writing and journaling as an enjoyable activity, particularly as it pertains to sobriety or embracing an alcohol-free lifestyle.

Here are her words. I hope they can reach someone who needs to read this right now. xoxo Kim


Last night was NYE. My kids and hubby always stay up until midnight. I haven’t made it in the last 9+ years, because I was always drunk.

I would start drinking wine while cooking dinner - and would drink and drink, most likely having 1+ bottles of wine by myself - hoping that no one would notice:

  • my sloppy-ness

  • my slurred speech

  • my lack of awareness to play a game

  • my extra-loud-obnoxious-laugh

UGH

We’d celebrate the east coast New Years, kiss, and I’d stumble off to bed, fuzzy headed. I’d awake at midnight to the sound of fireworks, my kids giddy with excitement and I’d bounce out of bed to yell, “Happy New Year!” with them,  knowing that I missed most of the night.

I missed the real count down, the real enthusiastic screams, the real start to the New Year.

I’d crawl into bed, disappointed and a bit sad that I missed out. Again. 

So last night....

My kiddos and hubby were making their plans to stay up until midnight, playing Mario Cart, watching TV shows and playing games.

I had planned on going to bed just after 9 p.m. As in the past I never stayed up, BUT...instead, I stayed up with them until midnight. The night was pretty uneventful and my kids were exhausted, but we rang in the new year together - with big fat kisses and hugs, a few blow horns and then I went straight to bed.

I tucked them in and I listened to the fireworks and thought about how wonderful life can be without wine.

How I can really enjoy all these magical moments and see all the little and big details of my life - and of theirs - and, most importantly, remember it all.

This morning I woke up, feeling grateful and excited.

I’m starting the New Year, clear-headed, oh so grateful, and my heart is full! Happy 2019!!


I tucked them in and I listened to the fireworks and thought about how wonderful life can be without wine.

I drank as a mom - reader submitted story

beer and wine.jpg

One of the best things about starting this 100 Days of Sober page is that I’m able to connect with so many people out there just like me. People out there who are questioning their relationship with alcohol and the role it plays in their lives.

I have become friends with someone who is a reader of the blog. While she wishes to remain anonymous, she has a powerful message to share.

*******

I'm a Mom of two wonderful and amazing kids. They are the best thing that has ever happened to me!  

I'm a mom who once drank in front of her kids, not realizing the depths of this problem, the negative effects it had on me, and the example that I was setting.

Kids are little sponges, seeing all the good and bad. They see everything, regardless of age.

When my kids were younger, they'd play the game “restaurant,” - and on the menu was always beer and wine.  I once thought this was funny and cute and have an Instagram pic of my daughters’ “drink menu,” listing all types of beers and wines.

Ugh. When they got older, I knew they were watching, they see everything. 

A little over a year ago, we were having friends over. The kids were all playing and the adults were drinking, wine was flowing.  I don't remember ever feeling that intoxicated, but I was. When everyone left, I went to put the kids to bed, and I ended up passing out in my bed with all my clothes and makeup still on. IN FRONT OF MY KIDS. 

My son told my husband that he was worried about me and he cried himself to sleep. (my husband told me all this the next morning).  All of this makes me cringe. The next morning, I apologized to my kids. I told my husband that I was taking ANOTHER break from drinking, which was not my last break by the way.  I know that my kids will always remember that night, the night their mom was so drunk she just straight up passed out in front of them. 

Drinking starts off to be so fun and harmless, but this story right here is full of pain, shame, and utter sadness. BUT, now I no longer have to lurk in shame over past mistakes.  They can see a mom who is working on making better choices and trying to be the best possible version of herself. I'm choosing this way of life for me, but also for them.  They are and will continue to be one of the biggest reasons for me to not drink.  And that makes me feel good!

Hang on...it feels like freedom

Quote courtesy of  Sober Mom Tribe

Quote courtesy of Sober Mom Tribe

Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night
— Edgar Allan Poe
Picture from a recent drive in the Blue Ridge Mountains

Picture from a recent drive in the Blue Ridge Mountains

Last night I found myself feeling SO grateful to just sip on some hot tea and cuddle up with the dog while reading and daydreaming before bed.

My husband had a beer with dinner and I had some mineral water and I just felt so free to not feel like I NEEDED a drink with dinner.

Several months ago, if I was eating dinner (which I do 💯 percent of the time) it was accompanied by at least two glasses of wine 💯 percent of the time.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with having beer or wine with dinner - but I felt there was something wrong with me feeling I NEEDED a drink to accompany:

  • EVERY dinner

  • every event

  • every celebration

  • every weekend night

  • every weeknight.

    And I’m just so happy I am in a different place. It’s very freeing - and I wish it for everyone who is looking for a break from alcohol. Do you have any questions for me? I’d love to continue the conversation, Kim

Sobriety finds me being calm at the top of a Chic fil A slide

True story - yesterday my kids were screaming and fighting and name calling at the top of a Chic fil A slide - an indoor play area that amplifies screams and shouting by about 20 times. After many attempts (pleas/begging/demands) begging them to come down, I decided to climb up that damn thing myself and get them. I did not scream. I did not lose my cool. I simply told them that they were coming down because they were fighting and not listening to me - and so we had to leave. It took some maneuvering getting us all down but you know what? I followed through with what I said I was going to do and I hoofed my adult hiney all the way up the slide to get them to come down to let them know I meant business.

I follow through with things more now being free of alcohol. And I like it. Happy weekend everyone.