visualization

Day 22 - Self-sabotaging thoughts and what to do about them!

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Have you ever heard of someone self sabotaging to avoid a successful outcome?

According to Pyscology Today: Behavior is said to be self-sabotaging when it creates problems and interferes with long-standing goals. The most common self-sabotaging behaviors are procrastination, self-medication with drugs or alcohol and comfort eating. 

"These acts may seem helpful in the moment, but they ultimately undermine us, especially when we engage in them repeatedly," the article continues.

Whether it's lose weight, get sober, start a business or anything else, you have the power to tell those self-sabotaging thoughts or limiting beliefs to bug off. You deserve to have a clear path to achieve and realize your dreams.

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Here are some common thoughts associated with limiting beliefs.

  • I'm not worth the success that would come by reaching this goal.

  • I can control my life where it is - the way I know it - if it stays the same. 

  • It's too much work to change.

  • My idea is crazy.

I've been having some crazy nightmares lately. Nightmares where I'm getting rejected at every turn. Dreams where I'm literally forced to move backwards (as in drive backwards on the interstate!) And I wake up thinking "hmm. That was weird." 

I really do think it's my subconscious sending me messages to not fear things like rejection or change. And to encourage me to keep making forward progress on my goals no matter what. And to be aware of self-sabotaging behavior so I don't go down that path.

So what have I been doing to combat these crazy dreams and, potentially self-sabotaging thoughts? 

  • I replace negative thoughts with positive images. 

  • I say affirmations. 

  • I pray. 

  • I create vision boards and write down my goals. 

  • I visualize my goals and see my success as it unfolds.

And, if you've made it this far I'm telling you now that one of my biggest dreams is to grow 100 Days to a huge, vibrant and thriving community full of women supporting other women to enjoy an alcohol-free lifestyle. I want to write for parenting publications to prove that mommy juice and wine memes don't need to be a standard in parenthood. I want to write a book or secure speaking opportunities and podcast interviews to share my story and try to inspire others to go after their dreams. I hate putting myself out there, but this is what I'm doing because I'm not going to self-sabotage my dreams and live in the shadows of "what if?"

What big dreams do you have? And how can you get those limiting beliefs to scram so you can live your best life? Day 22 of Sober October. :-)

How to survive the weekend (and enjoy it!) alcohol free - Sober October Day 4

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Happy Thursday

Here is a question from a Sober October Challenge participant:

"I'm good until Friday/weekend. Then I'll talk myself into having a glass, which leads to most of the bottle. :( Question - Surviving the weekend booze free?"

I had so much fun putting this together! And the content below is jam packed with good information, including four keys to enjoying a weekend sober, fall-inspired soft cocktail recipes by the fabulous Karolina Rzadkowolska, who manages Euphoricaf.com AND 15 amazing tips on how to rock a party sober, which is also provided by Karolina. Check out all the good stuff below!

I believe there are a few factors that go into play when it comes to surviving the weekend and staying alcohol free. 

  1. Preparation

  2. Visualization

  3. Distraction

  4. Motivation

Be Prepared - As you know, alcohol is EVERYWHERE - from the tailgate to the birthday party and from the dinner date to the backyard BBQ. And not only is alcohol everywhere, but it's pretty much expected that you should drink to enjoy any event tied to the weekend. It's just engrained in our society. That's why, it's important to be prepared. You'll need to prepare not only what you will plan to drink but also what you will plan to say and do so you don't get caught off guard.

  • Practice ordering a few drinks ahead of time. For example, "I'll have a soda water, please!" If they don't have that, then plan to order a lemonade or ask for an iced tea. If you're hosting or heading to a party, perhaps bring ingredients for a fun soft cocktail! (Click hereto see three fall-inspired versions by Karolina Rzadkowolska!)

  • You'll also need to be prepared to respond to any questions you'll receive from friends or family who are used to see you drinking. Have a few responses on hand, such as:

  1. No thanks, I'm not drinking tonight! I'm taking a break from alcohol.

  2. No, not for me tonight. Alcohol has been messing up my sleep lately and giving me anxiety so I'm not drinking right now.

  3. No thanks. I'm doing a Sober October challenge and am feeling really great removing the alcohol from my life!

  4. I'm doing a lifestyle challenge and am avoiding alcohol right now. Maybe next time.

EDITOR'S NOTE: One of my biggest hangups with socializing during the first few weeks of sobriety was actually telling people. And honestly, so many people responded with grace and support (and oftentimes verbally expressing their desire to cut back).

Visualize Success - I'm a huge fan of visualization. The first time I saw someone do this was Lindsay Vonn at the top of a ski run. (I was watching her on TV - when I reread this it seemed as if I was on the mountain top with her so I’ve edited to avoid any confusion. haha!)

She literally closed her eyes and visualized the entire course beforehand. It's something athletes do to imagine success over and over again. And it has personally worked for me in my personal life.

  • Before attending an event or starting the weekend from the comforts of home, set aside time each morning to fully visualize enjoying it without alcohol.

  • Get really specific! Imagine where you are, who you're with and create a picture where you see yourself laughing, having the time of your life and easily saying "no thanks!" to a glass of champagne handed to you - or confidently ordering a soda water at the bar.

  • Believe you can, decide you can and visualize your success.

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Image courtesy of Karolina Rzadkowolska

Create a Distraction - Sober October isn't a time to feel like you're missing out. It's an opportunity to choose something different for your life. Experience a new normal. Have different conversations. Get outside of your comfort zone. You could certainly do the same thing this weekend and just remove the alcohol. But how about trying something new?

  • Schedule a hike or a fitness class that you've wanted to try.

  • Find a new coffee drink or dinner recipe that is a little complicated and test it out.

  • Make some of the new alcohol-free cocktails provided by Karolina Rzadkowolska.

  • Visualize success (see above!) and relish in the energy and freedom you now have just by the power of your own choices.

Figure Out What Motivates You - Are you someone who loves a gold star? Are you motivated by the carrot or the stick? Figure out what really, really helps you achieve goals and apply it to this. 

For example, if you were to take the money that you would have spent on drinks and use it to buy something special Monday morning, would that keep you motivated? Or would you love to share with your husband on Sunday night that you achieved your goal of not drinking? What about committing to donate $500 to a charity if you slip up? Would that prevent you from drinking? Think back to the last time you crushed a goal and work through why exactly you stuck with it - and then use it to your advantage when heading into the weekend.

  1. FOLLOW THE NEXT STEPS TO COMPLETE DAY 4

  1. Say your Daily Mantra "I find joy in the journey" whenever you have a chance.

  2. Download these fall-inspired soft cocktail recipes and tips on How to Rock a Party Sober by Karolina Rzadkowolska

  3. Head over to the Private Facebook Group and join us to share that you completed Day 4 - and that you kept the promise you made to yourself.

  4. Send any questions you may have to me at kim@100dayssober.com. I want us all to have a successful Sober October so let me know how I can help.

The Day I Had Sushi without Sake

Bare Organics (1).png Well, well, well. Here we are at Day 8 and I must say it's nice to get a solid week under my belt.

I can't say that motherhood has been easy this week.

Starting the Day Screaming - One of my boys has just been starting and ending the days with major meltdowns. It's a freaking good time.

When I get stressed from the whining and crying, I imagine my body filling up with bright, clear liquid. It's a visualization technique I learned from the Headspace app. It helps and I don't reach for the bottle of wine.

Boredom at Work - I have been doing the SAME thing for my clients for almost 10 years. I think I'm pretty good at what I do but I'm dying to try something else where I can apply my talents in a different way besides doing day-to-day PR activities. I'm just bored - so I've invested in a 90-day coaching program and have purchased a few templates/best practices workshops to try my hand at building a more diversified revenue stream. I'm nervous and scared and it puts me out there a little more which is frightening but now that I have so much time on my hands - without hangovers and shoving wine down my throat, I figured I'd make good use of the extra space to work with.

Legal issues - One of the bloggers (I manage influencer activities for a fashion retailer) we work  with for a brand has violated their terms of agreements and my client is bringing in their legal team. This is the last thing I want to deal with. I don't like the litigious nature at all and I hate that I'm in the middle. Funny enough, I am also involved in a copyright infringement case for another business I manage. But I believe these will get sorted out without too much heartache. But still. It's an excuse to tap the bottle and I haven't even been tempted.

O.K. So last night I had a date night with the husband. We sat at the bar. We ALWAYS sit at the bar. It's our thing - my husband is a chatty kathy and loves to talk to the bartender, the people sitting next to us, the wait staff. Basically anyone but me! haha. But we went to a sushi place we really like. Normally, I would have a few beers or glasses of wine and then beg my husband to get a large sake with Chambord. I love it! Or used to. I wasn't even tempted once. I enjoyed two tall glasses of soda water with lime and all is good in the world.

Tonight we are going to James Taylor - and it will be only fitting that I'm sober to watch a fellow sober human share his craft. xoxo Happy Weekend folks